to the girl who is hurting

i am back in one of the darkest point of my life. a point in my life that i would have never thought i would be revisiting it again at any point but here i am back where i started.

during the darkest time of everyone's life, all they need is most likely a helping hand. but people whom i thought were my friends choose this time to abandon me because they decided that they won't put up with my bad points after a while. no one is perfect right?

it's sad and heartbreaking. i feel as if i am drowning and no one is lending a helping hand.
slowly i learnt to float but i still stay in the murky waters. eventually, the waters became beautiful and i see the shore. i came up for a while, i guess this is the time when i accepted the situation.

things became better but lately it's like i am back in the murky waters, struggling. the worse part is it hurts even more. how can something hurt twice as bad when you have felt it before? is it because when you break a glass and try to glue everything back, it won't be the same again? just like if your heart is smash into pieces again, it won't ever be whole again? that's why it hurt worse.

hopefully i will heal one day and that one day will come soon.

sometimes you have to be strong for yourself. you have to know that you are a good person and a good friend. what is meant to be will end up good and what is not won't. relationships are worth fighting for, but sometimes you can't be the only one fighting. at time, people need to fight for you. if they don't, you must move on and realize what you gave them was more than they were willing to give you. hopefully, people realize great things when they come around and don't lose something real. always fight, until you can't anymore, and then be fought for.